I have always wanted to know what the filthy rich did better than everyone else. How did the manage to do what most of the world will never even dream of doing. Is it that they were already selected at the beginning as the lucky winners or is it just pure hard work.
You thought I knew the best kept secret? Nope I do not, I’m also just wondering how and what is it that’s so special about them that I am here and they are there.
Being poor and happy or rich and sad, what would you choose? This is a question I saw on TikTok one day, and without even giving it a thought I said rich and sad. You see only those who have been rich in their life would choose being poor. I don’t know if it’s possible to be fully happy when you’re poor and wondering what you’ll eat that day. Anyway like I said in my previous post, even when it comes to finances I can’t say I’m poor, of course broke I am but not poor nor am I rich.
This is where my dilemma comes, I’ve always wanted to become rich before I die in my life time, but at the same time I got used to not having attention coming my way. It seems from what I’ve seen most rich people a lot of eyes are on them. I’m afraid I’ll trop and fall because everyone is looking at me. I want to be filthy rich and I don’t want eyes on me.
I am working on it, and when it happens you’ll be the first to know.
I thought my mind was done thinking but I guess I was wrong. If you’re reading this pretend you’ve found my diary and reading in secret. You don’t want me to catch so your won’t say anything to me.
Anyway I have been an average person my whole life. Average looks, average intelligence, semi average singing voice, average dancing skills. Anyway have you ever had that thought, of what you like or hate about being average that is if you are anyway.
What I love
I love that because I’m an average performer nobody expects much from me. Not from school and not in life so that kinda takes off the pressure that other people go through. I love the fact that I’m not at the top or the bottom so don’t have a lot of attention coming to be. I can fly under the radar and nobody will notice.
What I hate
I hate the fact that I’m average at singing or dancing. I love these two but I can’t do them very well to showcase. I mean yea I can practice to hone my skills but can you just listen. This is me giving my excuses I don’t need your judgment. That’s what as people we start going through our mind when we are being given criticism. I want to be strong enough to say I can do anything, but let’s face it. That’s what parents tell kids so they don’t cry or they can aim high otherwise we all know it’s not true. As a person you can’t do anything you want.
So what can one do
I guess just suck it up and live life, go with where life is taking you and just hope you find some fulfillment along the way. Otherwise if we all were able to do anything we want life would be boring. So I guess what I’m saying is everyone’s life sucks in one way or another.
Music is a wonderful thing that can make one forget about everything. Some days I feel like the days are too long, the minute feels like an hour because of where my world is going. I want to fill it with music so I can forget for a while.
What do you do when your mind is filled with so much but can’t do anything about it? Can anyone answer please. The anxiety, the pressure of knowing that what’s in me is great, knowing that if I can just sum up the courage I can do wonders. At the same time it’s scary coz if I fail it’s not just me but my family. Anyway no wonder settling down is even much scarier since after that kids come.
I don’t want to be responsible for a whole human being that if I mess up their whole world crumbles. I don’t want to have the pressure to be perfect, of course I want to be loved. But love comes in different forms. To tell you the truth I don’t know what I’m really writing about. Whether it’s about love, filling time with music or just straight up my cowardliness on life. Anyway, if you think you’re not a coward good for you, but I know for sure that I am and in some way I don’t wanna change some part of it.
I know you’re wondering what I’m rambling about. It’s probably because not many people will read this and the few that will won’t finish reading the whole post. I love that I can write my feeling freely like this without promoting and knowing not many people will see. It’s like a sexual fantasy that people have to do something in public, the excitement and hoping no one is seeing you at the same time the thrill of what if I get caught. Anyway can’t really know much about that.
What was I taking about? Oh yea, so how do you make your days shorter. I’ve had this day mostly with music in my ears. Mostly listened to camila cabello, Demi lovato, Meghan trainor, elevation worship, and more. Hey now you know my kind of music I like.
I am going to stop here cause I don’t know what else to say. I should say I don’t know how to put it here anymore but when I get more writing power I will be back. I’m publishing this cause if I don’t I won’t punish anymore.
It is tiring to think when things will change, when will my life start going according to how I planned. How will I get to where I want to get? When will my turn come? All my friends are getting ahead in life, whether relationship wise, career wise or general progress. How come my life doesn’t seem any meaningful.
If you’re a 26 year old like me who’s yet to make it in life I believe the above questions are some of the things that go through in your mind. And to make it worse if your single that’s gotta sting more. I know, I am single and it’s not fun when I need someone to complain to, or just talk to. Anyway I don’t even know if I can give any advice on this rather just write coz I’m going through the same.
Who the hell said growing up is fun. I don’t see the fun in it especially when all the time my mind is thinking on how to turn my life around. Like I mentioned above I’m single but I also don’t wanna get in a relationship when I haven’t figured myself out. Anyway to those who have figure out this life, how long does it take? What did you do better that I’m not doing? Please lemme know.
As I’m writing I’m sitting in a Starbucks cafeteria on my phone writing because it was not planned. I’m sitting by the window facing in the direction of the next shopping center. Gazing at the sun, and sometimes when the sun goes I get a cooler feeling. Sitting next to two girls on their laptops seem busy. I think they’ve got it together, who’s to know. But looking around that’s what I’m thinking do all these people know what they want? I’m I the only one struggling with what I should do next? Should I ask them? Nah!!! I’ll just assume they are better than me, maybe they are thinking the same thing about me.
It is crazy how this world works, we all in our own little worlds thinking our world is worse than the next persons or if your is good thinking it’s better than the other. I deliberately slept at 6 am today so I can wake up mid day, to make my day a bit shorter so my day doesn’t get to be long to think why I am not busy.
Anyway that’s enough complaining for the day, hopefully your day is going well. I’ll go ahead and finish my chai tea latte now.
Often times i wonder where my life is going. I try to think every step on how it will go and how to make plans according to that. As you already know not all plans happen as they way you want them to.
There is a lot of teachers and coaches now to help you to figure out what you want to do with your life. Though they might be able to help you, if you don’t put in the work yourself you will not gain anything from them. As i am on this journey of self development, i have been learning from some of the great speakers and coaches.
Below are links to YouTube videos of Jim Rhon and Tony Robbins. The YouTube accounts below are not mine I am just sharing their content.